The coldest story every told...

It has been an absolutely gorgeous, almost fall-like day here in Kansas City. Cool, in the 60's, and slightly overcast made for the perfect morning to go on a walk with the boy. I snapped this picture as we made our way around the neighborhood. Seriously, I can't get enough of that smile.

It's been a rather long, tiring week and the weekend couldn't get here soon enough. Robbie's back issues are once again haunting him and now that we have Jack, having major back pain puts a major damper on the Home Flow. I've had to take Jackson to school everyday this week as well as pick him up. It's made for terribly long commutes and a few, Oh I Hope I Make It To Clinic On Time moments. Robbie took a couple of days off to try and mend and last night I ended up taking him to Urgent Care for some muscle relaxers and pain meds. Thanks again Laresa for coming over at a moment's notice to watch Danger.

Robbie's sleeping right now and Jack is snuggled up with a blanket and a binky in his bouncy seat. He's not asleep yet, but I know those telltale signs. Every once in awhile I will look down at him (he's sitting right next to me) and he will look up at me with droopy eyelids and a weak behind the binky smile. I just love those. They are easy to miss if you're not paying attention.

My job continues to challenge me in all the right ways and confidence in my new position has grown two fold. I even gave a tour to a group of people affiliated somehow with state legislation. I never really did catch exactly what they were up to. I just know there was food and speaking involved. My new boss Dr. K signed me up for the gig. I suspected this meant she has a little faith in Crazy's abilities and quite frankly, that feels darn good.

I continue to struggle with the "balance" of working and mothering and for now, have simply decided there is no secret cheat code available to win the game. I experienced my worst nightmare the other day when I went to pick up Jack. It was remarkable really...in the cruelest way:

Catie (aka- The Mommy) Hey MC! How's my boy?
MC (aka - The Heartless Caregiver) He's great! He had a good day today. Hey! Has he started giggling for you and Robbie yet??! It's so cute and awesome and he does it for me ALL the time!!!


Okay...so that last sentence I made up, but, she might as well have said it. It felt like a physical blow to the stomach and then the most amazing thing happened...I said, "Nope, not yet," packed the kid up and drove home. I didn't cry, I didn't bemoan the fact, I didn't dramatize the entire conversation to Robbie and fling myself into a messy heap on the bathroom floor, no, I did none of those things because I am the respectable writer of a blog. I gotta save this stuff up.

By the way, MC isn't really a heartless caregiver. She's actually very kind and seems to genuinely like my kid. I'm just sayin'.