Gaining wait...

The heaviness of a few extra pounds compares little to the heaviness of grief. I'm feeling quite heavy these days and am impatiently waiting for a lighter spirit. The Daily Cancer Grind makes me weary and a little over a week ago Robbie's cousin lost her precious 4 month old daughter, Kate. Attending the funeral did little to ease the grief, but spending time with Kate's twin sister, her mommy, daddy and other caring relatives helped (a little) in redirecting the anger I was feeling. Am feeling. The grief in that home was palpable. It breathed, rattled the walls.

We are losing patients, naturally...the holidays are approaching. I saw it in the funeral industry and the hospice industry and now the cancer care industry. People decline this time of the year. Not that the holidays are depressing enough. It's different this time though. I'm losing friends. Some of these women I see more than my best gal pals. I'm watching their decline and wishing on anything, everything we had the power to change the outcome.

The child living in my home is a great distraction, but even he makes me sad with his non-stop growing and daily reminders of "Hey lady, I'm not gonna be this sweet forever!" Doesn't he realize I need just a little more time? Don't we all?

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