Settling in...
Next month marks our 8th Moved to Kansas City Anniversary. Eight years and I am just now feeling like we are settling in. Life is moving along at a steady clip. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook, but thank goodness it exists or I would never know anything about anybody. Having a small child seems to suck you into this introverted world where all you (feel) like you do is pick up toys, read Little Golden Books and sing The Wheels On the Bus. But, of course, this is only partially true. As disconnected as I feel to the world outside of my home and the Cancer Center, I am that much more connected to my beautiful son. I am learning to accept that "balance" is a myth.
Lately, I've spent a lot of time challenging my notion of health and wellness. Robbie and I joined a gym and I am actually committing time to go. In fact, I even made the large investment to work with a personal trainer. I am trying so incredibly hard to hang up my discomfort and unease about my body and recognize that despite its' flaws, it is still mine and I do need to provide it care. Truly, the physical discomfort of working out muscles never toned is nothing in comparison to the mental anguish of accepting how awful I look in a tank top and sweatpants. The mirrors in the gym are just plain mean.
I can't explain it, but I feel a shift in thinking; patterns being altered. I have no definitive goals except to show up and do the work, and for the first time I am expecting to retain THIS body...not transform it into Cameron Diaz's. For me, well, this is nothing short of remarkable.
Wrapping up my first year in graduate school feels really good. So far I've learned some people are incredibly attached to the letters behind their names, group projects are a horrible idea for an online class and that Dale Carnegie was right, you should refrain from telling people their wrong. Even if they are. And you know they are. And you have the proof in your hand.
I recently discovered Time Magazine's 100 Best Non-Fiction Book list and I might as well have died and gone straight to the pearly gates. In the last few years I have realized I love Non-Fiction. Like, I want to marry it, I love it so much. This fascinates me, because I will speak with people who want to marry Fiction and can't even believe I have the hots for Non-Fiction. So far, I am working my way through the list and the first book I fully completed is Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee (highly recommend). Presently, I am reading Truman Capote's, In Cold Blood and Dale Carnegie's, How To Win Friends and Influence People, and I use daily, William Strunk Jr.'s Elements of Style (writing style, that is). I can't tell you how happy it made me to find this list. (For those of you who prefer to snuggle with Fiction at night, they have a list for you too.)
We are heading to Oklahoma City this weekend to reconnect with Aunt Kayna and pretty much say "hi" to a few other family members. It will be a whirlwind weekend and I am hopeful Jackson will go with the flow. It will be nice to get away and it will be nice to come home.
Lately, I've spent a lot of time challenging my notion of health and wellness. Robbie and I joined a gym and I am actually committing time to go. In fact, I even made the large investment to work with a personal trainer. I am trying so incredibly hard to hang up my discomfort and unease about my body and recognize that despite its' flaws, it is still mine and I do need to provide it care. Truly, the physical discomfort of working out muscles never toned is nothing in comparison to the mental anguish of accepting how awful I look in a tank top and sweatpants. The mirrors in the gym are just plain mean.
I can't explain it, but I feel a shift in thinking; patterns being altered. I have no definitive goals except to show up and do the work, and for the first time I am expecting to retain THIS body...not transform it into Cameron Diaz's. For me, well, this is nothing short of remarkable.
Wrapping up my first year in graduate school feels really good. So far I've learned some people are incredibly attached to the letters behind their names, group projects are a horrible idea for an online class and that Dale Carnegie was right, you should refrain from telling people their wrong. Even if they are. And you know they are. And you have the proof in your hand.
I recently discovered Time Magazine's 100 Best Non-Fiction Book list and I might as well have died and gone straight to the pearly gates. In the last few years I have realized I love Non-Fiction. Like, I want to marry it, I love it so much. This fascinates me, because I will speak with people who want to marry Fiction and can't even believe I have the hots for Non-Fiction. So far, I am working my way through the list and the first book I fully completed is Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee (highly recommend). Presently, I am reading Truman Capote's, In Cold Blood and Dale Carnegie's, How To Win Friends and Influence People, and I use daily, William Strunk Jr.'s Elements of Style (writing style, that is). I can't tell you how happy it made me to find this list. (For those of you who prefer to snuggle with Fiction at night, they have a list for you too.)
We are heading to Oklahoma City this weekend to reconnect with Aunt Kayna and pretty much say "hi" to a few other family members. It will be a whirlwind weekend and I am hopeful Jackson will go with the flow. It will be nice to get away and it will be nice to come home.
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