Lazy Sunday...
But there is still that sense of urgency looming. 37 days and counting until my due date. I can't believe how quickly the months have been flying. Because I have been working so much I have been keeping track of pre-baby time by counting weekends and Robbie and I have been filling those up with all sorts of activities. In the meantime, we still have a baby room to finish, flowers to plant and various nesting lists to check-off. I am pressed for time and have very little energy to exert. Oh, and there's that new job to try and learn about as much as I possibly can before maternity leave. So what do I do instead....sit here and write about it all of course!
A couple of weeks ago I was thinking about how nice it's been to have Jackson right here with me at all times. About how much easier this is versus leaving him with strangers in a daycare center. About how, with a kick to the pancreas, I am reminded he is doing just fine. No midnight feedings, no fears of him getting sick, or cold, or lonely. And now...well, now...I am starting to understand why women, towards the end of their pregnancy, are simply ready to get the darn thing out of their bodies. I hit the 35 week mark tomorrow and am officially uncomfortable. I have a very small selection of shirts that cover my monstrous belly, and am completely over hearing people comment on how much bigger I seem to grow over the weekends. Robbie is convinced my snoring is literally killing him and cruelly I am the most thirsty at night right before I go to bed, which dictates hourly bathroom breaks instead of every other hour. I am definitely in the home stretch and can't even imagine how I will feel if we make it to 40 weeks.
With that said, other changes are taking place at the same time. I'm certainly not physically comfortable, but mentally and emotionally I am growing more and more comfortable with the process of having Jackson. Don't get me wrong - I am still pretty terrified of all the unknowns surrounding the grand event - but all in all I feel like I am better educated about the journey and the many challenges we might encounter along the way. We've had four weeks of birthing classes, one night of newborn care and next week we attend a breast feeding class. In the meantime I have read about three books on Lamaze, newborn care and pregnancy start to finish. I've met with the maternity care coordinator, signed the papers, explained my health history, expressed my wishes for how I would like my labor and delivery to go and found out (from an anesthesiologist and not my own "research") that the likelihood of receiving a successful epidural is, well, not likely. I've been practicing my visualization and breathing techniques and mentally embracing pain with a purpose. When that first intense contraction hits and I completely break down and start begging for Demerol, only to find out I am dilated to a two....well, I will just have to laugh. 'Cause seriously, that would be so funny. (Really, I am actually chuckling right now at myself and this perfectly reasonable scenario.)
Oh, it's all such a mystery...but I am so looking forward to seeing my baby. He's so close, yet so far away and I understand better now how important that 9 months of growing, and bonding and preparing for baby is to parents. I've never wanted more for someone in my life.
A couple of weeks ago I was thinking about how nice it's been to have Jackson right here with me at all times. About how much easier this is versus leaving him with strangers in a daycare center. About how, with a kick to the pancreas, I am reminded he is doing just fine. No midnight feedings, no fears of him getting sick, or cold, or lonely. And now...well, now...I am starting to understand why women, towards the end of their pregnancy, are simply ready to get the darn thing out of their bodies. I hit the 35 week mark tomorrow and am officially uncomfortable. I have a very small selection of shirts that cover my monstrous belly, and am completely over hearing people comment on how much bigger I seem to grow over the weekends. Robbie is convinced my snoring is literally killing him and cruelly I am the most thirsty at night right before I go to bed, which dictates hourly bathroom breaks instead of every other hour. I am definitely in the home stretch and can't even imagine how I will feel if we make it to 40 weeks.
With that said, other changes are taking place at the same time. I'm certainly not physically comfortable, but mentally and emotionally I am growing more and more comfortable with the process of having Jackson. Don't get me wrong - I am still pretty terrified of all the unknowns surrounding the grand event - but all in all I feel like I am better educated about the journey and the many challenges we might encounter along the way. We've had four weeks of birthing classes, one night of newborn care and next week we attend a breast feeding class. In the meantime I have read about three books on Lamaze, newborn care and pregnancy start to finish. I've met with the maternity care coordinator, signed the papers, explained my health history, expressed my wishes for how I would like my labor and delivery to go and found out (from an anesthesiologist and not my own "research") that the likelihood of receiving a successful epidural is, well, not likely. I've been practicing my visualization and breathing techniques and mentally embracing pain with a purpose. When that first intense contraction hits and I completely break down and start begging for Demerol, only to find out I am dilated to a two....well, I will just have to laugh. 'Cause seriously, that would be so funny. (Really, I am actually chuckling right now at myself and this perfectly reasonable scenario.)
Oh, it's all such a mystery...but I am so looking forward to seeing my baby. He's so close, yet so far away and I understand better now how important that 9 months of growing, and bonding and preparing for baby is to parents. I've never wanted more for someone in my life.
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Heather