Cranky Jo is in the house (brace yourselves)...

I'd read it might happen and kind of figured it would be my fate for the entire pregnancy but once the second trimester hit and I was still feeling really, really good, I thought, "Hey...maybe this won't be so bad after all."

I'm talking about being really, really cranky, grouchy, on edge, irritated, angry. It's as though a switch has been flipped and I have to work extra hard to maintain my optimistic, perky self at work. At home...well, forget about it. Poor Robbie. This weeks' catch phrase has been, "That makes me angry!" The following list are of things that have made me angry just this week:

  • Auto Trader and their incompetent website
  • the way my Pepperidge Farm cookies were sacked with the milk
  • how my cat insists on sleeping super close to me while Robbie's elbows are in my face
  • my stupid salad at Arby's that wasn't as good as the last one I had there a week ago
  • bending over
  • standing up
  • Robbie's breathing
Oh, I am one hot mess right now and I am chalking it up to a new surge of hormonal activity and the intense, bring me to my knees, sciatica back pain of which I am experiencing. I've had my fair share of back pain and have even had it to this degree before - but - this pain is showing no signs of letting up anytime soon and it is debilitating. Sometimes I can't walk and every move causes me to cry out involuntarily. In a nutshell, it sucks so bad. It's amazing how pain can change you. How one moment you can find joy and happiness in a sharpened pencil and the next you're perfectly willing and capable of shoving that sharpened pencil into the temple of the next person who cuts you off in traffic.

The good news here is Jackson is so obviously growing. He seems content through it all and ultimately I am sacrificing a life of comfort for his own. I can be okay with this and if Robbie doesn't leave me anytime soon, well, we just might find it was all worth the suffering. That is until our first sleepless night and the knock-down, drag-out argument that will ensue because of said sleepless night. Ahhhhh, babies.....I can't imagine why people choose not to have them!

Comments

Laresa said…
I'm so sorry about the back, I can't even imagine the pain you're having! And I absolutely hate it when my groceries are bagged sloppily as well!!!
7:27 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Settling in...

Next month marks our 8th Moved to Kansas City Anniversary. Eight years and I am just now feeling like we are settling in. Life is moving along at a steady clip. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook, but thank goodness it exists or I would never know anything about anybody. Having a small child seems to suck you into this introverted world where all you (feel) like you do is pick up toys, read Little Golden Books and sing The Wheels On the Bus. But, of course, this is only partially true. As disconnected as I feel to the world outside of my home and the Cancer Center, I am that much more connected to my beautiful son. I am learning to accept that "balance" is a myth. Lately, I've spent a lot of time challenging my notion of health and wellness. Robbie and I joined a gym and I am actually committing time to go. In fact, I even made the large investment to work with a personal trainer. I am trying so incredibly hard to hang up my discomfort and unease about my bod...
Read more

I knew I was forgetting something...

Image
Writing and keeping a journal has always been cathartic for me and I think often, "I should jot that down." The many " thats " that have gone by since last July are almost too numerous to count, and frankly, I've sadly forgotten most of them. I love to write and this blog is testament to that. Unfortunately, my time and energy is limited these days and given my OCD nature, I can't just write a simple little update without revision and editing. I've always wanted to be sure I am saying what I mean and mean what I say...and if I can do it eloquently with a little additional thought, well even better. And that's where I struggle these days. It seems my brain power is more focused on the miles of pages that need to be read for class, remembering to pick my child up from daycare and staying on top of a job that, at times, consumes more of my life than I'd rather admit. Needless to say, I'm busy and taking time to sit, think, ponder and write (gra...
Read more

Gaining wait...

The heaviness of a few extra pounds compares little to the heaviness of grief. I'm feeling quite heavy these days and am impatiently waiting for a lighter spirit. The Daily Cancer Grind makes me weary and a little over a week ago Robbie's cousin lost her precious 4 month old daughter, Kate. Attending the funeral did little to ease the grief, but spending time with Kate's twin sister, her mommy, daddy and other caring relatives helped (a little) in redirecting the anger I was feeling. Am feeling. The grief in that home was palpable. It breathed, rattled the walls. We are losing patients, naturally...the holidays are approaching. I saw it in the funeral industry and the hospice industry and now the cancer care industry. People decline this time of the year. Not that the holidays are depressing enough. It's different this time though. I'm losing friends. Some of these women I see more than my best gal pals. I'm watching their decline and wishing on anything, everyt...
Read more