I was your silver lining, but now I'm gold...

You'd think I'd get over this whole not going back to school thing. And I certainly thought I was until I visited with a friend the other night who was getting ready to start a new term on Tuesday. Like me, this friend enjoys learning, enjoys classes, enjoys reading and writing and being challenged academically, mentally, and creatively. I'm not entirely sure, but he might also really enjoy purchasing crisp new notebooks and mulling over which writing utensil will work best for the written tasks at hand...well, maybe that's more my thing. Yeah, that is definitely my thing. I love it and for the last few years I have really looked forward to the week before school when I was finally permitted to go to the various supply stores to buy my notebooks, mechanical pencils and stock up on art supplies. School supply shopping wasn't a necessity for me this August. Yeah, I bought a few things for my classroom, but despite racking my brain and standing in the notebook aisle for a ridiculous amount of time, I was never able to justify the purchase of a new notebook.

No new notebook, no new fresh ideas. And that's how I am feeling these days. 

There's just so much I'd like to say, but honestly, it's time for me to really try and move on. Accept. This coming from the girl who saves the tiniest slivers of paper, ribbon and fabric just in case I have the perfect spot for that sliver in some future art project.

I hold on to stuff and usually a little too tightly. 

I'm certain I will come around. I usually do, however this is taking a little longer than I imagined it would. I suppose the start of the new school year sparked that familiar feeling of loss once again. I just need to refocus and remind myself good things will and have come from this difficult choice...
in a month I will have one less car payment
I am finally learning to sew and there is time in my life to read fiction
I am reminded, daily, of how an education improves the quality of my life, my husband's life and the lives of my future children.

Okay, the view is a bit clearer and in the meantime, I really should try to enjoy the copious amount of free-time a classless semester provides. 

Don't worry, I'll get there.
Here's to a great term Brent.

Comments

Lady and Tater said…
Wag More, Bark Less.

Enjoy it!
10:45 AM
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