Living to Consume...

Caution: This is going to be a long post - but it's something I have been thinking a lot about lately and I just need to get it all down. Oh, and keep in mind I am fond of sarcasm. It's running pretty deep here.

Last week Robbie and I experienced a loss. Our beloved Apple Studio computer monitor died and we are currently in the process of trying to figure out how we are going to replace it. Here's the thing. Robbie and I took out a LOAN in 2000 to be able to buy the nearly $3,000 computer system we currently have. We are fortunate that the stupid thing has lasted this long! Fortunately, we have some amazing friends who have allowed us to borrow a monitor. Unfortunately, (and this is REALLY sad) the video card in the computer doesn't work well with the monitors, so the picture is hazy, lined, and hard to look at for any length of time. Not to mention the monitors are massive. Our desk is designed for a flat panel monitor - not the big bulky ones. (How are we even surviving?!!!!)

But this is where all of this gets really ridiculous (as if taking out a loan wasn't enough and then complaining about the FREE replacement monitors!)...

Robbie and I have been moping around about this loss. We went to Comp USA yesterday to see if we could get it fixed and in the meantime slobbered over all of the new monitors and brand spankin' new Apples. The fact of the matter is Robbie and I do not have the cash to replace the monitor. We barely have the funds to fix it - and that's assuming it can be fixed (which isn't likely). SO WHY LOOK AT WHAT WE CAN'T BUY?

And that brings me to my ever-lovin' point. When is enough, enough? Every time I turn around someone somewhere has something new. It might be me, it might be you. And if it's not me - well, I certainly think it should be! When is enough, enough?

I recognize our economic system and I am grateful to live in this country. I can't blame my love of stuff on my country I need to have some self control and discipline. I have to understand that God requires this of me as well as self-sacrifice and prayer. My iPod doesn't love me, neither does that stupid monitor.

Robbie and I have yet to find a church to call home....and this of course, makes you, the reader, think we've actually been searching. I've been thinking about how lazy we've become in our lack of caring to serve others. Wow. That was hard to say....but it's true. When we think of a church home we think about the look, the feel, if they have a Saturday night service. In other words, what can this church give ME - oh, and does it have a coffee bar?

There is a new show on TLC called Monastery. Basically a bunch of guys who have a bunch of "modern problems" go and live in a monastery with a bunch of Benedictine monks. It's, yet, another "reality-based" show, but what I have found fascinating is getting a glimpse into the lives of the monks. They are hard-core! Seriously, they are living in the US of A and getting up to PRAY every morning at 3:15 AM!!! They pray, sing, and worship up to 5 hours every single day. Needless to say, some of the guys visiting aren't doing so well. It amazes and inspires me to watch the level of self denial and sacrifice the monks choose. It's ironic that this inspiration is coming through my cable tv while I am sitting on my comfy couch eating chocolate cookies.

Yeah, I've been thinking about all of this a great deal. You know how sometimes you just search around, randomly, on the internet - maybe check out other peoples blogs - people you don't know? Well, I was doing that the other day and came across the MOST AMAZING ARTICLE.It sums up just about everything I have been thinking about and even offers a bit of clarification for some things I hadn't quite figured out. It's a long article - but worth the time. I would recommend printing it out even, so you could really dive into it.

I suppose there is no real conclusion here. Sometimes I am so acutely aware of my thoughts and actions and other times I float along. I don't want to want all of the time. I don't want my children to want all of the time. I don't want to always wait and wish for the next best thing.

My joy comes from the Lord and the blessings he bestows and if that means a new monitor paid for with cash then so be it. If it means a used, clunky, gray monitor from a friend with one too many, even better.