Last verse, same as the first...
It's amazing really...I know my life will be turned upside down once Jackson arrives. I know the long naps I currently take will be eliminated from my repertoire. I know sleepless nights and round the clock feedings will become my new job. And yet, despite the complicated nature of bringing home an infant, I am SO ready to get on with it! I had read and heard that this is how women start to feel at the end of their 9 months, couldn't truly understand it, but had accepted it as truth. Now I get it. I get it. You just simply want them out.
My doctor's appointment went well today. I saw Jeanne the nurse practitioner, who also happens to be a certified midwife, and we had ourselves a little Come To Jesus Meeting. She asked me how I was feeling and immediately I began to tear up. My hands and arms are going numb, (it's a carpal tunnel pregnancy issue) I wake up in the morning feeling horrible, I am having contractions but nothing I can accurately time and make sense of, and I am absolutely terrified labor is not going to start and I will have to be induced and then have to have a c-section, I am officially on maternity leave and just want to know when all of this is going to happen. (Seriously, working OB/GYN would have to be a calling. That's a whole lot of crazy for one patient and she had a full schedule today!)
She handed me a tissue, checked me out, sat me up and said..."Your baby is engaged tightly in your pelvis (good thing), your cervix is thinning and opening up at a steady clip (good thing), yes he's measuring "big" but that's in direct relation to your size, which is on the smaller side (makes sense) and finally, there are more indications at this moment that your labor will start when it needs to and this baby will come when he is good and ready (in others words: just take a breath and find something else to obsess about!)."
And she's right. I've been trying so hard to predict (read: control) the outcome of this pregnancy and in the meantime I've hopped on the Crazy Train and taken a detour from enjoying the last few days of my pregnancy. Yeah, I am uncomfortable and anxious to meet my baby, but no one stays pregnant forever. Seems like such a simple, easy to grasp concept, doesn't it?
My doctor's appointment went well today. I saw Jeanne the nurse practitioner, who also happens to be a certified midwife, and we had ourselves a little Come To Jesus Meeting. She asked me how I was feeling and immediately I began to tear up. My hands and arms are going numb, (it's a carpal tunnel pregnancy issue) I wake up in the morning feeling horrible, I am having contractions but nothing I can accurately time and make sense of, and I am absolutely terrified labor is not going to start and I will have to be induced and then have to have a c-section, I am officially on maternity leave and just want to know when all of this is going to happen. (Seriously, working OB/GYN would have to be a calling. That's a whole lot of crazy for one patient and she had a full schedule today!)
She handed me a tissue, checked me out, sat me up and said..."Your baby is engaged tightly in your pelvis (good thing), your cervix is thinning and opening up at a steady clip (good thing), yes he's measuring "big" but that's in direct relation to your size, which is on the smaller side (makes sense) and finally, there are more indications at this moment that your labor will start when it needs to and this baby will come when he is good and ready (in others words: just take a breath and find something else to obsess about!)."
And she's right. I've been trying so hard to predict (read: control) the outcome of this pregnancy and in the meantime I've hopped on the Crazy Train and taken a detour from enjoying the last few days of my pregnancy. Yeah, I am uncomfortable and anxious to meet my baby, but no one stays pregnant forever. Seems like such a simple, easy to grasp concept, doesn't it?
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